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KARAOKE!
Sunday, 5 September 2010 @ 22:44
I've just finished a bit of a boozey blitz through southern England, and now I think it's more than time enough to update this blog. I went dwon to Winchester to see my ex-housemates, which was fantastic - it seemed so long since I had seen them. I've made a mental note to put more effort into even casual keeping up with that lot - they really were / are a good bunch. The day after I was in London to celebrate an old school friend's birthday, and just today I've driven back from what was enthusiactically called 'Farmageddon' - a night of prosecco-based debauchery down in Kent. Suffice to say, I'm a little relieved to have three days of decent drinking behind me, and having just popped out of the hot tub, I can say without regret, that as fun as getting wasted can be - sometimes the creature comforts of my parents' house (Sky HD, good food, etc.) does take the biscuit.

But kind of on the back of the sandwich night of my triumvirate of drinking, I want to talk about Karaoke. I love karaoke. I think most people do (although some people pretend they don't). But there is a politics attached to the whole odd-social right that is getting drunk and belting out your very own cover version in front of your mates. In my mind, there are key elements to getting the perfect karaoke night.

Pre-lash.
 Crucial this. Don't put enough Dutch Courage in your belly, and you might lose your bottle when the time comes, and freak out on stage. Alternatively, get to plastered, and you risk entering school/uni/workplace mythology, as the guy or girl who got through 7 bars of Karma Chameleon, and then promptly chundered everywhere. I think the most important thing is to make sure that you maintain yourself at a level where you are ready to sing at any point. Prefereably do rounds with someone(s) else, otherwise you risk believing you are going to be able to sing perfectly lucidly, when in fact, you are already dribbling on your arm. Go for mixers without Red Bull and other rubbish - you're probably going to be buzzing enough from nerves, you don't need your CNS blistering with a caffeine injection too. Below is a picture of myself and my sister preparing with admirable style. Take your cues from that.



Song choice.
A real tripping point this, potentially, and also one which you have no excuse for not working on in advance. In fact, I don't just recommend that you try and figure out in advance, I urge you. Because if there is one guarentee I can offer, it is that in the heat of the moment, you will be unable to think of ANY song to sing. Don't depend on doing one of a few famous classics either - Don't Stop Beleivin' by Journey might be a brilliant song choice, but if someone has just sung it, you can't expect to do an encore and win any plaudits more grand than 'good effort'. Power ballads are too emotional (unless you are so drunk anyway that you need to play the comic card to try and mitigate the shame of your drunken, awful songmaking. Raps never work. Ever. Ditto for songs with small elements of rap within. Just don't do it. Duets are potentially good, either as a tool of seduction, or as a way of sharing any embarassment. But again, trying to have a duet appropriate to whoever you end up singing with can be difficult. The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing is no good as a duet with your Dad at a wedding. Unless you are with a really trendoid girl, Sunny and Cher's I Got You Babe is going to be less seductive than it is a bit creepy.

Singing ability.
Possibly the most important factor of all - many a would-be karaoke enthusiast has lost years of preperatory work on this final hurdle. There are only a few types of karaoke that are acceptable. One of those is ragingly bad, although in many cases this isn't exactly de rigeour either. A happy medium of pleasant to listen to but a little bit wavery is ideal. Unless you are an exceptional vocalist, do not try and be awesome. No one likes a try hard with an ego. The inverse of this is true though - if you are an exceptional vocalist, and then surprise everyone with your skill, that's pretty sweet (see: Jewel's little trip into the world of karaoke)

If there's one thing you should be careful about though, this is it. My final and most important advice is made clear throught the medium of photo. Observe the casual portrait of two friends, ruined, by the imposition of an overly enthusiastic background singer. Ah. The shame. Well, that's all folks. Until next time.



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quote of the week.

"The circle of human knowledge, illuminated by the pale, cold light of reason, is so infinitesimally small, the dark regions of human ignorance which lie beyond that luminous ring so immeasurably vast, that imagination is feign to step up to the borderline and send the warm, richly colored beams of her fairy lantern streaming out into the darkness ; and so, peering into the gloom, she is apt to mistake the shadowy reflections of her own figure for real beings moving in the abyss.

Sir James George FrazerThe Golden Bough
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The title of this blog comes from a poem by Coleridge, A Wish: Wriiten in Jesus Wood, Feb. 10th, 1792, Plus most blogs are moans anyway. Including this one. lol manuscripts
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I'm a 23 year-old student in London Cambridge London, studying English Literature Law. It's hard to really think of anything truly personal I can put here that might give you some idea of who I am, so I will just tell you that my favourite Shakespeare play is Richard II, my favourite chocolate bar is Snickers, and I have a bit of a thing for instant coffee, especially if someone else makes it for me.


I'm interested in Renaissance Literature, Higher Education policy, and libraries.
I'm completely in love with a Scottish girl.